Querying Tips for Neurodivergent Writers

Querying can feel like a herculean task for any writer, but for neurodivergent writers, the process can be especially challenging. Though I can only speak from experience in regards to my own ADHD, many of these tips will apply to those who are neurodivergent in other ways, such as those who are autistic, have dyslexia, etc. because there is so much overlap in the way that certain symptoms show up.

For those unfamiliar with how ADHD works (and I mean really works, not is shown badly on television), here’s a quick rundown. For most of us things like patience, attention to detail, and rejection sensitivity are common traits. Toss in difficulties reading between the lines when it comes to social cues, processing information through questions, and an overabundance of passion (that can feel “too intense” for many) and you have my particular flavor of ADHD.

If you’ve been querying for any length of time, you probably read all that and either saw yourself a little too much in it, or at the very least know that I just described all of the traits you need to have to successfully query. I wish I had a magic wand that could make the process easier, or some secret advice that would even the playing field, but the truth is I don’t. I’m right in those querying trenches with you.

Image: Cartoon by K.C. Green that is frequently used as a meme. Image features an orange dog wearing a hat and sitting in a burning house with his cup of coffee. His speech bubble says “This is FINE”

That being said, this is my second rodeo after being previously agented (a post for another time), so I’m going in better prepared this time. After querying off and on over a six year span, I’ve watched the industry change and figured out the little ways to make it more bearable for me as a neurodivergent writer. While these tips can benefit any querying writer, they may be especially helpful to my fellow neurospicy friends.

So, without further ado, here are some tips to try!

Image: Pink letters photographed on a white background. The letters seem to have no rhyme or reason for placement.

1) Copy and past the name of the agent. Always.

My spelling has been atrocious since I could first read and write, and that hasn't changed as an adult with an English degree. I just hide it better now because of spellcheck. (All hail spell check!)

Names are where spellcheck becomes pointless, and even sometimes will foil you with the dreaded autocorrect. Even for the person with great attention to detail, reading a name and then typing it off memory (or while staring at it in a split screen) can lead to mistakes.

And let's be real here—ADHDers aren't really known for their attention to detail. (I say, speaking as one of them.)

Can I do a complex task incredibly thoroughly, blowing away all expectations? Sure. Easy.

Can I give you a query that has zero "obvious" mistakes?

...maybe?

I use Google Drive to keep track of my queries so that I can switch between my laptop and desktop as my ADHD brain decides it needs to sit in a new space to focus. Overall, it works great. Highly recommend it. I also title each query as "AGENT NAME Query" to help organize.

Here's the sneaky part of that though - when I put the title info in, I ALWAYS copy it directly from the agent's official page. That means I'm not going to accidentally write "Sarah" when they spell their name "Sara," for instance. (My roommate’s name is “Sarah,” so “Sara” is one name that I have to be especially careful with if I don’t want my autopilot brain to start adding “H”s where they don't belong.)

The beauty of copy and pasting the name is that it’ll always be right, and by putting the pasted copy directly in the title, it’s easy to copy again to put it in your query. Usually this also prevents weird format changes, but if it doesn’t, the next tip is for you!

Image: Google Docs screen shown with the toolbar at top and the top of a query visible. The spot where the format painter (which looks like line art of a paint roller) is circled with a red circle.

2) Use the “format painter” for any areas that you’ve cut and pasted.

This has the advantage that you won't accidentally have switching fonts, slightly different sizes, weird spacing, etc. It's much more effective than doing it manually.

That being said, be very careful with this tool. If you apply it to the whole document, you'll have to go back and remember which things need to any special formatting such as italics, bold, link signals, etc.

(Not that this happens to me a lot but uh... it definitely does.)

Image: Crumpled up papers layered on top of one another.

3) You will make mistakes, and you have to find a way to make peace with that.

You will make mistakes.

Read that again.

You. Will. Make. Mistakes.

One more time.

YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES.

And you know what? It’ll be okay. I promise!

Some agents are sticklers for everything in the query and samples being perfect. They want to see flawless punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc. However, those probably aren't the agents for you. If they can't be forgiving over a typo in the personalized area of a query, they’re going to have a tough time working with someone who may frequently have challenges with similar levels of detail. You’ll feel more self-conscious during the relationship, and they’ll get annoyed faster. When looking for an agent, you have to remember you’re not looking for any agent that will take you: you’re looking for the right agent.

For those with marginalized identities, that can narrow the field considerably. While this absolutely sucks (and isn’t fair—trust me, I know), it’s still true. Even so, better to have less choices than to try and force yourself to work with someone who won’t be accepting of who you are as a person.

All of that being said, the large majority of agents that I've researched in recent years don't care about little mistakes. Don’t get me wrong here—getting someone’s name correct is still a big one. It’s a sign of respect, particularly for those who don't have stereotypically white names like Karen or Brenda. But if you tried to personalize the query to them and said you were "exited" instead of "excited," for instance? Most agents won’t care. Seriously. They read a million queries every year (only a slight exaggeration), and your typo isn't their top concern.

I've even noticed a great trend within agent circles to change the rhetoric used around this topic. Many are starting to recognize it as the accessibility issue that it is, and fewer are listing typos and silly mistakes as signs that the querying author “just doesn’t care” or “isn’t professional.” Considering that those with dyslexia, ADHD, etc. are more likely to make these mistakes and not notice them even when we proofread a thousand times, this is a great shift that I hope continues to build momentum.

Image: Example of the start of a query template. The words [Agent Name] have been highlighted in yellow, as have the comparison titles and the word [Personalization].

4) You should have a default “query template” that you can copy and personalize from.

When it comes to querying, the standard advice is often “have someone else read every query before you send it.” While there may have been a time that this advice was useful, the sad reality of today’s querying market is that for some people, this just isn’t realistic. Friends and family can easily get tired of checking your work and may not know enough about querying to be truly helpful anyway. Not everyone has access to editors or writers that they can call in favors from, especially as they’re starting out, and paying someone for the dozens (to hundreds) of queries that many writers end up sending is just not financially feasible for most.

This doesn’t mean never have another human look at your query, it just means you have to be smart with when and how you go looking for an extra pair of eyes. My favorite method is to create a template specifically for my book that includes all of the things that won't change such as the summary of the story, the basic information about me, and the sign off/contact info. I then highlight any areas that will need to be personalized so that I don't forget (such as the “Dear Agent Name” at the start.

You might notice that I highlighted the comps in my example above, too. For me, this is because I may personalize the comps to fit the agent (or may just leave them as my default). It depends on if I have a better comp that they'll resonate with, whether I can comp to something they personally have represented, whether they prefer books to movies as comps, etc. Sometimes I personalize the bio as well, such as by disclosing my marginalized identities when I feel comfortable, or by noting a favorite pastime that I share with the agent if they have listed it obviously on their website. (For instance, if the person I’m querying says that they absolutely love Gilmore Girls, I may add in a note that “when not writing, I can be found bingeing truly absurd amounts of Gilmore Girls” because it’s 100% true and it might make our connection stronger. However, I don’t leave lines like this in for every agent because it doesn’t add anything for an agent who is indifferent or dislikes the show.)

Once you have the query template, have at least one other person look at it, ideally who knows something about querying. I highly recommend offering a query swap on your favorite social media platform, or looking for online writer groups to join if you don't have anyone IRL that can help easily.

As you work with your template, remember that personalization areas are where you’re most likely to make mistakes (see point 3 if you need a reminder). Even if you realize post-sending that you made a silly mistake in the personalization, don't panic and don't send a rushed apology to the agent. They may notice the mistake, but they likely won't care.

When I first began querying, I genuinely sent apologies for tiny typos, and looking back, it was silly. At best, the agents were probably amused by my anxiousness and at worst I was wasting their time with a pointless email. Unless your mistake changes what you’re actually saying or has somehow autocorrected into something rude, just take a breath and let it go.

Image: Black hat with white lettering that has the word “F*CK” written in large type and six check boxes below. The check boxes say: Me, You, This, Off, It, That and the one that says “it” has a red check added. The hat is sitting on rocks with water behind it.

5) Never write anything in the query that you aren’t prepared for the agent to accidentally see.

What do I mean by this?

Say instead of "Personalization" I decided to be funny in that space. The template is just for me anyway, right? No one else will see it.

So let's say on a bad querying day, I fill that space with "info or something about person who will probably reject me anyway" because it makes me feel better when I'm feeling discouraged.

What happens now if I forget to personalize that section? How mortified will I be if an agent sees that instead of their name? How likely are they to auto-reject me on the spot?

Whatever your placeholder, make sure it's respectful and appropriate. Imagine your parents or your scariest teacher from school reading over your shoulder. If what you wrote for a placeholder would offend them, take it out.

Now.

Seriously—go do it right this second before you forget.

It's not that you can't have those moments of needing to vent or just feel sad. You can, and you will, and that's okay! Querying is hard, and it feels like it gets harder every year.

However, there are plenty of healthy ways to process those feelings that won’t accidentally lead to offending a publishing professional or getting an auto-reject for a query you worked hard on. Publishing is a very small world ultimately, and many agents know each other. Becoming too memorable in a bad way isn’t going to be a great start to a profitable career.

Image: Brown lined paper with the word “Dear” written in cursive in black ink. A pen with an orange grip and silver tip and base is lying nearby.

6) It’s okay to just say “Dear [Agent First Name] [Agent Last Name]” to start the query. Lose the honorifics.

A lot of older querying advice emphasizes that you should always address agents with an honorific (such as Ms. Wenner, if you were addressing me.) This advice is outdated and is more likely to lead to insulting than honoring many agents.

Take this as your permission to go the easy route. Skip the Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/Dr./etc. and just use their name. Novel concept, I know.

Most agents are fine with you using just their first name, but I tend to use their first and last as a way to make it a little more formal since it’s still a professional I don’t personally know. Following this, it will look like this:

Dear [Agent First Name] [Agent Last Name], <—how to write it in your template

Dear Anna Wenner, <—what it would look like filled in, using my name as the example

Though “dear” is an easy and neutral greeting, most agents seem fine with slightly more casual greetings such as “Hello [Name]” as well. (Just don’t start getting too familiar with your greetings.)

When I first began querying, I used to spend hours trying to be 100% sure I knew the proper way to address someone with an honorific. This meant determining their gender, their marital status, their level of schooling, etc.

In retrospect, it involved creepy levels of research.

For cis men it was easier, because if they weren’t a “Dr.” or “Rev.” then they just defaulted to “sir.” For anyone else, there were seemingly endless ways to get it wrong.

For instance, my grandparents were both "Dr. Wenner" so official stuff read:
To: "Drs. Wenner" or "Dr. Wenner & Dr. Wenner"

Meanwhile, a friend of mine had just come out as non-binary, and I wanted to formally address a card. I hunted high and low, and "Mx" was one of the more accepted but it wasn't the only option for those who fall between "man" and "woman."

For women, you can often default to "Ms." if you don't know their marital status, but I had some ladies in my life who got low key offended by this. They wanted to be referred to as "Mrs." or "Miss."

Basically, it's a sticky social nightmare and my neurodivergent brain can't cope.

The last thing you want to do is accidentally misgender someone or fail to recognize their level of education, and most agents aren’t very good about listing their preferred honorific anywhere. For most I can’t even find a for sure reference to pronouns even now.

It’s important to remember that agents don't expect (or particularly want) you to learn their entire life story.

It is always okay to politely greet a person by their name.

This doesn't mean you can go super casual, make up nicknames, or even that you should only do the first name (unless they indicate this). It just means that you shouldn't be so caught up by honorifics that you lose sight of the point of querying.

If in doubt, leave it out.

Image: Photo frame entirely filled with books stacked upon books, all held together by long pieces of twine.

7) Document everything (and keep it even after you think you need to).

When I finally signed with my first agent, I seriously considered deleting all of my querying information in celebration. It felt like a great way to have a fresh start away from the hell of the querying trenches.

If I had, I'd be starting over on all my materials like my query template, my comps, my one sentence and one paragraph pitches, etc. I would have also lost all record of who had already seen which story and when. Sure, most were emails in my inbox… somewhere, but finding them all and recording them all was realistically never going to happen.

Luckily, I have a spreadsheet that I diligently kept up to date with every query I sent. In retrospect, query tracker is probably a better call, but for whatever reason I have more trouble keeping that updated so I stick to my spreadsheet as my #1 "will always use" place. (I imagine this has to do with my need to add notes to everything and my desire to control how my information is presented.)

Whatever your system, don’t delete it when you get your agent! Even before I was back in the trenches, I found a surprisingly high number of uses for my old documents as we went on sub and when I was helping other querying writers. Be the digital dragon hoarder you were meant to, and make sure you have a copy of all the important stuff even if you hope to never have to query again.

Let me know in the comments if these were helpful and/or if there were any favorite tips that I missed! I’m always looking for new ways to make the process more manageable.

Note: This advice was first shared as a thread on my Twitter. Since it seemed to resonate with quite a few of you, I wanted to make it available in an easier to process format here as well.